Mititele

• Ionut ne arata ca poti face muzica cu niste sunete banale de Windows. Desi nu prea e el fan Windows.
• Gasesc si o ”poza” cum dureaza ”dragostea” : maxim 3 ani

Un pic de amuzament

Sa ne destindem nitel cu o mica povestioara pentru care nu bag mana in foc neaparat din punct de vedere al valorii de adevar. Cica programatorii sunt mai atractivi ca alti barbati, pentru femei.

Cel putin cam asa zic cei de aici (cu o mica adaptare abuziva din partea mea (geek->programator)).

Cam asa ar zice ei :

1. Programmers make more money than you.

Claiming that women value money over everything else is not going to fly. Instead, you must consider the more practical angle - when all other things are considered equal, the guy with more money is simply the better option.

Bancuri de programatori

Care este diferenta dintre un programator amator si unul profesionist? Cel amator crede ca un kilobyte are 1000 de bytes, iar cel profesionist crede ca un kilometru are 1024 de metri.

_________________________________

Culmea calculatoarelor? Sa gonesti musca de pe ecran cu cursoru de la mouse.

_________________________________

De cati programatori este nevoie pentru infiletarea unui bec? De nici unul…e problema de “hard

_________________________________

Se facea un sondaj de opinie despre sexul virtual. Intrebarea reporterului:ce parere aveti despre sexul virtual? Studentul de la medicina: * ce e aia virtual? Studentul de la economie: * chiar asa ce e aia virtual? Studentul de la informatica: * stati putin, ce e ala sex?

_________________________________

De ce numai 10% din creierul uman contine cod executabil? S-a descoperit ca restul sunt comentarii.

_________________________________

Patru “calculatoristi” se intalnesc la o bere. Unul incepe sa povesteasca: * Am agatat aseara o tipa beton. Am dus-o acasa. Eu incins, ea incinsa. Ne-am apucat sa ne dezbracam chiar din momentul in care am intrat pe usa. Am “pus-o” in picioare, rezemati de perete… Ne-am cautat o noua pozitie si am asezat-o pe birou, chiar pe tastatura noului meu calculator… Este brusc intrerupt de ceilalti, in cor: * Aha! Ce calculator ti-ai luat?

_________________________________

O femeie, inginer de sistem, instala un calculator intr-o retea pentru un coleg de lucru. Cind a venit rindul setarii parolelor ea l-a intrebat ce cuvint vrea sa folosesca pentru logare. Vrind sa o intimideze, tipul i-a spus “penis”. Fara sa clipeasca, aceasta i-a introdus parola dorita, a reintrodus-o pentru confirmare dupa care era sa se prabuseasca de ris in fata monitorului. Curios, tipul i se uita peste umar si vede raspunsul calculatorului: PASSWORD REJECTED….NOT LONG ENOUGH.

Ziua programatorilor

Multumesc tuturor pentru urari

Motivul pentru care 13 Septembrie (respectiv 12 Septembrie in anii bisecti) este ziua programatorilor este acela ca este a 256-a zi din an. 256 este puterea a 8-a a lui 2.

De asemenea este numarul de valori pe care il poate lua un octet (un byte), un element de baza in lucrul nostru.

LA MULTI ANI TUTUROR PROGRAMATORILOR! 

Citate de programatori - partea IV

“Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.” — John F. Woods

 

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Douglas Adams

 

Debugging is twice as hard as writing the program, so if you write the program as cleverly as you can, by definition, you won’t be clever enough to debug it.

 

 

PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil, perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals.
Jon Ribbens

 

[Sonium] someone speak python here?
[lucky] HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
[lucky] SSSSS
[Sonium] the programming language

 

“I don’t care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine!”

It’s the blog tagline of one Ovidiu Platon, Romanian Microsoft Student Partner [link http://studentclub.ro/ovidiupl/default.aspx ] Unfortunately it disagrees with the “Works on my machine” Certification. Damn shame!

 

“If the user can’t find it, the function’s not there”

“It’s my blog tagline ” [link http://www.tudorvlad.ro ] I’ll probably change it and keep it for when I grow up.

 

“In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they aren’t even close”
It can be applied to many fields, but goes great with programming.

Citate de programatori - partea III

“Mostly, when you see programmers, they aren’t doing anything. One of the attractive things about programmers is that you cannot tell whether or not they are working simply by looking at them. Very often they’re sitting there seemingly drinking coffee and gossiping, or just staring into space. What the programmer is trying to do is get a handle on all the individual and unrelated ideas that are scampering around in his head.”
Charles M Strauss

 

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don’t.

 

Pasting code from the internet into production code is like chewing gum found in the street.

 

GOTO is a four letter word.
Edsger W. Dijkstra

 

 

“Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.”
Rich Cook

Citate de programatori - partea II

Your mom is so fat she sat on a binary tree and turned it into a linked list in constant time!

 

Saying Java is good because it works on all OSes is like saying anal sex is good because it works on all genders.

 

“If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the next woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.” - Unknown.

  

Citate de programatori - partea I

Cateva din ele mi s-au parut intersante, unele utile si altele doar amuzante. Oricum sper sa va placa “serialul” pe care il voi propune. Sa incepem :

“The programmer who wrote this should be shot, but then again, many programmers should be shot.”

Premature optimization is the root of all evil in programming.
—C.A.R. Hoare

 

Parodie Holding out for a hero - varianta programatorilor

Holding Out For A [Coding] Hero
Where has all the good code gone
And where are all the geeks?
Where’s the byte-wise Socrates
To teach some real techniques
Isn’t there a White Hat to make some crazy speed?
Don’t they know that a splash-screen
Isn’t what I really need!?
[Chorus]
I need a hero!
I’m hoping that a bright hero’s gonna save me some bytes
He’s gotta be smart
And he’s gotta work fast
Cuz we know that he’s in for some fights
I need a hero!
I know that my hero’s gonna work through the nights
And I know he’s no fool
And the code will be cool
With no bugs in the lines that he writes
Lines that he writes….
Somewhere after M2
In my schedule fantasy
Sometime in a code review
That’s when our hero’s gonna fix the tree
Rip out all the code bloat
And make it all run sweet
It’s gonna take a superman
To make this code compete!

[Chorus]
It doesn’t matter if it’s managed VB
Could be written in Python or C
He can fix all the codebase problems
Guaranteed

Work the build and the tests for some gains
He’s a coding machine.
I can see his approach
Like a fire on my screen!

Like a fire on my screen!
Like a fire on my screen!
Ah!  Ah!
[Chorus]

Sursa : Rico Mariani’s blog (Chief Architect al Microsoft Visual Studio)

Programator la Microsoft. Chiar vrea cineva?

Puteti vedea o parodie (sper?) despre cum ar putea fi motivati programatorii sa scrie cod cat mai bun. Fiind programator sper sa nu se bage ceva de genul acesta in productie NICIODATA.

Un articol despre viata in IT

Cum sa faci sa nu iti manance slujba viata personala si discutii pe marginea mai multor functii din IT si avantajele / dezavantajele lor. Un articol demn de citit

http://gw.vtrenz.net/?DAFXQ93POL:IHJXVI581X=ssID:107584130

De ce au programatorii romani succes in afara?

Citeam deunazi pe un blog chestia asta si sincer m-am ingrozit. Cum naiba se poate sa iti dea cineva o chestie ultra simpla de facut cum ar fi ciclarea numerelor de la 1 la 100 si sa afisezi pe ecran dupa cum urmeaza:

daca e numar divizibil cu 3 scrii “Fizz” daca e divizibil cu 5 “Buzz”, daca e divizibil cu 3 si cu 5 “FizzBuzz” si daca nu e nici una din aceste situatii scrii numarul efectiv? Si ca cica un “Senior Programmer” i-a luat peste 15 minute sa rezolve problema…

Si cam toti ar fi absolventi de facultati de profil, nu au facut stiu eu ASE prin corespondenta sau sa aiba alta scuza de genu’ asta..

Cre’ ca mai trebuie inasprite examenele de la facultati de profil la materiile de profil sau cele de licenta? Sau… oricum parca creste mandria in noi, programatorii romani, cand vedem ce destepti sunt altii de afara.